Welcome to the esteemed prophetic services of Barry Prophets! Our team of highly trained, yet slightly unhinged prophets will guide you through the realms of fate and destiny. Or, at the very least, they'll try to.
Our prophets are available to answer all your questions about the nature of the universe, the meaning of life, and the best way to invest in cryptocurrency.
Don't believe us? Check out our testimonials page, where real people who have actually paid us to do their prophesying share their experiences.
We have a about page too, but let's be real, it's just a bunch of old pictures of our founder, Barry.
And don't even get us started on our contact page. Just don't.
**Disclaimer:** Our prophecies come with no guarantees, warranties, or promises of actual accuracy. Use at your own risk. Or, you know, don't.